Rob Storrs

Act II, page 28


ALGY.    Well, I don't like your clothes. You look perfectly ridiculous in them. Why on earth don't you go up and change? It is perfectly childish to be in deep mourning for a man who happens to be staying for a week with you in your own house as a guest. I call it grotesque.

JACK.    You are certainly not staying with me for a week as a guest or anything else. You have got to leave--by the four-five train.

ALGY.    I certainly won't leave you as long as you are in mourning! It would be most unfriendly. If I were in mourning you would stay with me, I suppose. I should think it very unkind if you didn't.

JACK.    Well, will you go if I change my clothes?

ALGY.    Yes, if you are not too long. I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.

JACK.    Well, at any rate, that is better than going always overdressed, as you are.

ALGY.    If I am occasionally a little overdressed, I make up for it by being always immensely overeducated.

JACK.    Your vanity is ridiculous, your conduct an outrage, and your presence in my garden utterly absurd.  However you’ve got to catch the four five, and I hope you will have a pleasant journey back to town.  This Bunburying, as you call it, hasn’t been a great success for you.  (Exit.)

ALGY.    I think it’s been a great success.  I'm in love with Cecily, and that is everything.  I must see her before I go and make arrangements for another Bunbury.  Ah, there she is!

(Enter CECILY.)

CECILY.    I promised Uncle Jack that I wouldn’t speak to you unless you asked me a question of some kind. 

ALGY.    Cecily, mayn’t I stay to tea?

CECILY.    I wonder you can look me in the face after your conduct.

ALGY.    I love looking you in the face.

CECILY.    But why did you try to put your horrid bill on poor old Uncle Jack?  I think that was inexcusable of you.  Where’s Uncle Jack gone?

ALGY.    He's gone to order the dog-cart for me.

CECILY.    Oh, is he going to take you for a nice drive?

ALGY.    He's going to send me away!

CECILY.    Then we have got to part.

ALGY.    I’m afraid so.  It’s a very painful parting.

CECILY.    It is always very painful to part from people one has known for a very brief space of time.  The absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity.  But even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has just been introduced, is almost unbearable.

ALGY.    Thank you.

MERRIMAN. (Enters.) The dog-cart is at the door, sir.